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Gear Up For Car Sex
By David Strovny

Warning: Car sex is not for everyone and may result in injury. As well, having sex in public is illegal in most parts of the world, so if you're going to engage in sexual activity in an automobile, do so at your own risk.

Why is having sex in a car so common among couples? To start, it's because there's nothing more thrilling than the thought that you might get caught doing the nasty. Not to mention, car sex is spontaneous and of course, everyone feels the need to fulfill the "we did it in a car" cliché.

But besides clinging onto our youth and engaging in some naughty fun in our ride, sex in a car is much cheaper than renting a hotel, or motel for that matter. So just about everyone has engaged in sex via car, and although you're in the car for the main event, what locale will you go to in order to reap the most fun for the least worry?

location, location, location
In every city and in every town, there is that one spot that all the young folks go to for the sole purpose of making out (among other things), but do you really want to take your woman to "The Point"? Of course not, you want to take her elsewhere for your sexual endeavors.

Back alley
No, this is not the prelude to one of your perverse dreams. If your woman isn't very thrilled with having an audience, taking her to a very quiet and preferably dark area will serve you better. Opt for an alley that people rarely, if ever, frequent.

Parking lots
If both of you are the more daring type, then a parking lot can serve as a wonderful venue to get sweaty and nasty. Of course, you'll likely fog up the windows, but don't fret, everyone will know what you're up to.

Drive-in movie
Yes, I know, this is the mother of all clichés, but really, how many people are still having sex at the drive-in theater? So plan it in your head without letting her know, get her to wear something that provides easy access and enjoy the movie.

Mountain top
There's nothing quite like watching the sunset (or rise) and penetrating the woman you love at the same time. Drive to the top of a mountain (given that you don't live in the flatlands) and make slow, quiet love for as long as it takes to satisfy each other.

There was this one time when my woman and I were driving on a highway, and because she was wearing a dress without a bra and panties, I was erect for ten minutes before I finally decided to pull over on the side of the road and show her how hard it was... for me to control myself.

auto positions
Of course, assuming that your car is somewhat roomier than a sub-sub-subcompact, there are a variety of positions you can enjoy in the comfort of your own automobile.

The Doggy Dash
Sit on the passenger side and tilt the passenger seat back as much as you can. She can sit on top of you facing the windshield, holding onto the dashboard for balance and controlling the movement. And what a movement it is -- not too mention that awesome view of her backside.

Backseat Mission
There really isn't much to this position. You basically lie in the back with your woman and take your place as the missionary man. For a little variety, try to raise her legs so that the soles of her feet rest on the ceiling of the car. And don't be shy; give her little portal a kiss hello.

Cruisin' Oral
Okay, so you're a little selfish in this one, but hey, you're driving the damn car! Put your car in cruise control and while driving, she can greet your little buddy with her eager mouth. But be careful, a guy named Dick lost himself in the sensations that fellatio provided and forgot that he was manning a car and before long, they had an unfortunate accident. Don't be a Dick.

The Lighthouse
You need to have a sunroof for this oldie but goodie. Stand with your feet on the driver's seat and while your woman sits in the comfort of the passenger seat, she can again pleasure your manhood while you keep a lookout for undesirables.

Hood Licker
If you and your woman are bolder than a porn star amid Happy Hour, then place her on the hood of your car and enjoy all the treats she has to offer. Of course, when she's ready to take you in, you can turn her over and let her hands rest on the hood while you penetrate her like the dog who's finally having his day.

helpful tips
Music: The rhythm that transcends itself into her ears can make or break the experience. Make sure you have some awesome beats on hand, preferably something trance-like such as Ultra Chilled .

Parking brake: Believe me, many people forget all about this simple little action. It's very important to ensure that the parking brake is on, otherwise you may just end up naked in a ditch, and no one wants that.

Clean car: Any woman would be apprehensive about removing her clothes and getting down in a car that has McDonald's wrappers on the floor or a sticky dash (how does that happen anyway?). Make sure the inside of your car is spotless.

Fog windows: Close the air conditioning and make sure the windows get fogged up before you pull up her skirt and give her your stick shift. Speaking of clothes...

Easy access clothing: Make sure you're wearing clothes that can be removed and put on easily. The last thing you want to do is knee her in the face while trying to pull down your fitted jeans.

Baby wipes: How many times do people get caught naked in their cars without tissue paper to wipe up the mess? Too many, so make sure you have baby wipes handy to clean up the mess you'll be making.

Use condoms: If you want to make the least mess possible, not to mention avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancy, use a condom and you'll be killing three birds with one stone -- or condom, as the case may be.

Be prepared: Remember that sex in the car is not approved of in most parts, so make sure you're in a position in which you can easily get dressed. Mr. Police Officer doesn't need to know whether or not your woman shaves or waxes down there.

So until next time, fill up your tank and take your woman for a ride -- on both sides of the spectrum.