What is divorce Divorce is when the marriage of any two individuals is brought to an end through a decree of a law court. Divorce has been around since time immemorial. Nevertheless it has become much more commonplace in the recent times. High divorce rate in western countries and divorce rate for UK In the western countries the rate of divorce has increased to a high degree. Divorce is common place in advanced societies such as the United States, South Korea and countries that form the European Union.
In the UK for men less than 40 years of age, divorce rate is 23.4% and for women it is 23.3%.
Reasons for divorce and Alternatives Thereof There can be several reasons for a rift leading to divorce.
- Infidelity: Extra marital affairs can break the back bone of the most durable marriage. No spouse can tolerate infidelity on the part of the other partner. If adultery has been committed then the two partners should try to return to the monogamous behaviour with a kiss and forgive attitude.
- Lack of Communication: Often it is seen that the couple is fine to do in all aspects, yet owing to some or the other lack of communication differences start developing between the two partners.
In this scenario they can try to take help from a mutually trustworthy individual.
- Financial Difficulties: The monster of financial hardships can have a negative impact on the best of relationships. One has to understand that in the marriage two are united for better or for worse. With this attitude the two partners should try to minimise their expenses and live through the difficult times with a smile.
- Abuse: Physical or emotional abuse is another major cause of couples drifting towards divorce.
The only solution to this is that the abusive partner should amend his or her ways. If needed then appropriate psychiatric help should be taken in this context.
- Behavioural Problems: Over-possessiveness or any other behavioural problem can also lead to one partner deciding to opt out of marriage. Once again this is an issue in which the partner with the problem needs to amend his or her ways. Also, in this case too psychiatric aid might prove useful.
- Individualism: Individualism is on the rise and it may be that either one or both the partners are not willing to compromise on some issues. Both partners must give up their individualistic tendencies to reasonable limits and face the fact that for the marriage to work they will have to bear with the minor nuances of the other.
- Women's Liberation: The rise of women's liberation movements has also seen an increase in awareness regarding women's issues. This is a positive development for the society.
Nevertheless the women must realise that liberation does not mean an end to compromise and marriage requires that from both partners.
- Laws: The laws have also made it easier for couples seeking divorce to achieve the desired goals at the earliest. Nevertheless one must not rush into divorce simply because it has become so easy. All effort should be made to first try and save the marriage.
Other Alternatives There can be alternatives to divorce, to save the marriage. Yet it depends upon whether or not the two partners wish to continue together. * Marriage Counselling: If a marriage is in trouble then counselling may be the only way in which one can save it. Counsellors are trained to segregate various issues and put the focus on to the root cause of the problems. Counselling helps in bringing the couple together once again, and aids them in learning how to respect each other and value the skills and judgements of their partners.* Legal separation: Legal separation is an alternative for the couple, who cannot live together but do not want to end the marriage. There is however one catch to this and that is that a legal separation is likely to involve all the heartache and other difficulties that one might have to go through, during the divorce process. Thus it may be neither an easy route to follow nor an advisable course of action. * Do Nothing: In the end, all said and done one always has the option to sit back and take life as it comes. The couple can simply consider their time to be bad and wait for time, the great healer of all wounds, to put everything in the right perspective. Sometimes just allowing things to be as they are, without disturbance, can solve even the most complex of problems.
Divorce can be avoided. Yet for that both the partners must have a desire to make the marriage work. A divorce is not the only answer to the problems of a married life.
There are numerous other ways to tackle the same.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk
